How to be the Next American Idol

I don’t really consider myself an expert when it comes to the show American Idol. I never completed watching any season until AI7 came. I know a handful of contestants from season 1 to 6, sure, but I don’t really have a space in my brain to store details about their performances and stuff. However, probably because of my epic addiction to the show last year, I think I can give a few tips on how to be the next American Idol. I’m doing this mainly because I know that I can’t be the next American Idol. Other than the fact that I’m not American, I can’t really sing well. Hmm, doesn’t matter though. I can be the next Sanjaya probably. Kidding. :)

1) Have a dramatic life story.

Admit it. If you are given two amazing people with equal skills and the only difference is that one of them has a tearjerking pre-audition interview, you’d pick the one who you “got to know” more. Fine. I would assume that people do not vote for contestants only because of their life story but victory becomes sweeter when such life accounts are involved. We’ve seen this work for Fantasia Barrino and David Cook, right? Well, it did for me. I’ll never forget how much my heart was tugged when David Cook sang Always Be My Baby with his cancer-stricken brother in the audience. I mean, come on. He completely recreates a 90’s pop song. We see Adam Cook on the sidelines of history. We remember how his close friend, Michael Johns, was robbed the previous week. He cries after singing. He gets our votes. Unforgettable.

2) Have a unique sound.

I’m not good with “Name that Tune” games ’cause I appreciate songs for their lyrics before appreciating the melody itself. Thus, I know that if I can recognize who sang a certain song without me knowing beforehand or seeing the person’s face on our TV screen, it must mean that the artist truly has a unique sound. Carrie Underwood, despite the numerous country singers alive in this planet, is someone who has a remarkable voice. Jordin Sparks has a certain ring for me too. Even David Archuleta (not an AI winner but his album is selling like hotcakes) has a truly recognizable voice to the point that I found it weird when I saw some of his pre-Idol videos ’cause his voice was different back then. Well, just make sure that your uniqueness is positive and that you don’t stand out because you totally ruined a Beatles classic. Case in hand:

Sure, it’s “unique”. But, please don’t do that ’cause people will just come up with epic spoofs like this one:

3) Have a catchy fanbase name.

It just makes everything sound more cult-ish and it actually contributes to your awesomeness! Taylor Hicks thanked his “Soul Patrol” for the win. Wasn’t that sweet? It’s like being part of one big family! It nails how HARDCORE one’s fanbase is! Because I have this fetish for silly group names, I vow to support any AI contestant whose fans come up with an awesome name ’cause I honestly liked Archie’s ArchAngels. Haha!

[photo from]

4) Have a remarkable personality.

For each season, the winner has always been the one with the outstanding personality. So, if you wanna be the American Idol, just pick one that suits you: [photos from: realitytvmagazine, eonline, pricescope, americanidol]

Remember to exaggerate on that personality at times to make sure that you get the message across. Hah.

5) Have a “make-over” or “growth” story.

There’s a nice feeling that one gets when he/she gets to witness the transformation of a person while witnessing a part of the contestant’s life even just twice a week for at least 4 months. It somehow makes the audience feel as if the show and they themselves have been a tool towards one’s self-actualization and betterment. Or maybe we just like seeing late-bloomers when we’ve already exhausted the nice sight that we got from those who were already “made-over” as the show started. Carrie Underwood had a simple girl to pretty/sexy girl-next-door transformation. Oh, I remember how fierce she looked like when she sang Alone. David Cook had a word nerd to sexy cougar-magnet transformation. Oh, I remember how gorgeous he looked like when he ditched the comb-over for a new haircut and a clean crisp polo when he did Little Sparrow.

6) IF ALL ELSE FAILS, wear a BIKINI to your audition.

Who knows? You might just win. Just don’t forget to oblige the staging of a showdown with one of the judges. :D


6 thoughts on “How to be the Next American Idol

  1. Tiffany says:

    Hello! I stumbled over from the AI community on LJ, and I totally agree with all of that! You just need a few certain things to secure your win, ya know? And I think you nailed ’em all. Lol.

  2. tiff k says:

    I agree with ALL! Grabe I hate bikini girl super!! Pero fave kong American Idol talaga si Carrie!!! whoot! especially ung life changing story nya. From farm girl to rocking country singer! yeah! :p hehee

  3. Rachel says:

    i found this from the AI community on lj – very cute lol and its true. if all else fails, whore yourself out and you’ll get through. sigh. as bitchy as this sounds, i hope she gets kicked ;X

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