Huhuuuuuu I have so many blog posts ’cause I have so many feelings!!!! fgdsfds
Today’s feeling: nostalgia/sadness
After much resistance, I brought myself to listen to one of the songs I’ve associated to a certain someone in the past — Sa Uulitin by Mojofly. And waaaaaaaaaah it’s just making me so sad huhuhu. I shouldn’t have listened to it. Well, I should stop listening to it, ’cause it’s on repeat and it’s the third time that it will play now.
I remember kulitan at the high school football field, lying on the grass, staring at the stars, asking about who my crush was. Hahaha.
I remember tambays at the Bel field during the best December of my life (2009 represent!!!) when everything was just you + me + fun. No pressure, no everything, just…us being us. I know you liked that December too, so I am brought to have another feeling tonight. I am now wondering if you ever think about that December as well. Sana naman, ‘no? (cue: Taylor Swift’s Back to December)
I remember non-dates in Katipunan after class. Sneaking out of org events. Trying to hide from the eyes of blockmates. Hahaha.
I remember conversations at the Gonzaga Parking Lot while lounging in your car. It was nice getting to know you.
I remember visits at Mckinley Hill for dinner :)
Buuuuut, as (500) Days of Summer suggests: “Next time you look back, I, uh, I really think you should look again.” So now, as the song just ended (and I am determined NOT to play it again), I look back and see other stuff.
I remember quarrels in your car when you drive me home.
I remember getting jealous. I remember tears. I remember having to have you make a choice, which I didn’t think I’d need to do.
I remember broken promises.
I remember regret, guilt, pain.
I remember you. I remember the ‘us’ that never was.
I remember why this had to end :) And, the tears seem to roll back up instead of falling :)
PS: I will probably regret posting this in the morning.
Blog post originally drafted last June 21, and I decided not to publish. Due to the recent turnout of events, I am now able to publish this as I deem it very apt for the Writing 101 assignment.