Food Spending and Relationships

Last Saturday, I went to Shang to meet up with some friends. I met up with my FY core team for an emergency meeting and I spent 520 pesos to feed the five of them with a pretty hefty lunch at the Food Forum. I also met up with my college friend and I spent 520 pesos for my share of our meal at Banana Leaf.

At first look, I felt bad at how wasteful I am with my spending. Why shell out a certain amount for 1 person that could already feed 5 people, right? But then I remembered what I told myself in 2017 that there are sacrifices needed to show that we care about people–and the biggest chunk of it is “showing up”. I’ve come to terms that I need to exert effort, allocate time, and ‘invest’ money if I want to cultivate my relationships. And in my circles, that money aspect tends to require a bit more since it’s a world of good restaurants, local and international travel, relatively expensive coffee, wine bottles, and high-end malls.

I try not to be sucked into the temptation of wanting to ‘keep up’ but there is a need to adapt and blend in. I learned today from our office small group that an important aspect of building relationships is “approaching the other person’s world”. And since fellowship over food has been part and parcel even of Jesus’ and the apostles’ ministry, I guess it just makes sense to meet people at the level of their tastebuds.

(I hope this is not me trying to justify my food vice haha.)


No Expectations

I have learned from my past not-so-successful crushings that unless it is explicitly stated that the person likes you and would like to pursue you, you SHOULD NOT set expectations. No matter how sweet someone can be towards you, no matter how touchy, no matter how perfect you two may seem to be in your daydreams and fantasies, unless it is said OUTRIGHT–without any need for guessing and mind games–you cannot set any expectations.

Self, please remember this.

via Daily Prompt: Expect

Radical Softness

I stumbled upon a tweet from Isa Garcia recently, where she shares a photo seemingly from a James Michael Nichols:


Society nowadays tells us that it’s kadiri to show emotions, and that we have to be tough and strong–never at the “losing” end of any relationship. And oh, I just couldn’t disagree more. I’m a proponent of platonic kilig as I believe in “expressive” display of affection towards people we care about, even if they are not our romantic lovers.

Thanks to social media and some rude comedians we watch on TV, it’s become a common practice to be vocal about our hatred and dislike of things (and even people). It seems that if it’s a criticism or a form of disapproval, we go straight ahead and express ourselves–no holds barred.

If we could just be as brave and blunt about expressing love, care and concern towards others, then I think there’d be peace on Earth. I’m preaching to myself here as well, since the many years of people frowning upon my “being emotional” is something I’m still battling.

May we not be afraid for our love to fall on deaf ears. May we not be afraid for our love to be rejected. May we not be afraid for our love to be taken for granted. As cliche as it may sound, love–especially love expressed–really is all we need.

(via Daily Prompt: Express)